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Showing posts with label remembrance. Show all posts
Showing posts with label remembrance. Show all posts

Monday, August 18, 2014

DBB

Carla Goldberg's kork installation "Play!" in Jan 2011

I'm taking a moment from my Do the world a favor string of posts to make mention of the much too early death at the end of July of Deborah Bailey Browne. 
DBB gave me free reign to ply my creative impulses, repeatedly, in her office of her accounting firm in Poughkeepsie.  My initial Curatorial endeavors in her office was a response to how square I found the business scene centered around Poughkeepsie to be.  In Denver I had known a business sector that was somewhat hip and open to culture of all sorts. Granted, Denver is a large metropolitan center. Poughkeepsie is a rather small city, but I assumed its proximity to NYC would have an effect on the sophistication of its cultural climate. This assumption was wrong.  
My motivation in these art hangs in DBB's office was to show work that, with each iteration, was progressively more unusual for an office environment.   I became more and more interested in addressing the mechanics of the office as a generator of art... Eventually, I stole -adopted- an idea of Angelika's which became kork which had a three year run as an independent entity within the office above the photocopier.
DBB was ever a booster for all I had cooked up, even when it left her staff shaking and scratching their heads--which I warrant happened often.  I don't know that deborah ever really got what I was up to either, but her unflagging enthusiasm for each project was a great stage on which to play and it's something for which I'm very grateful. 

Sunday, March 10, 2013

Personal Best

Nighttime Painting 1, 2009, acrylic, gravel, glass beads on canvas 11"x14"
The second of the tangents in my previous post brought to mind an exercise I maintained periodically when I lived alone.  It's very possible that I mentioned it previously on the blog, but who's going to go back and check?
This exercise was a mental one in which I tried to calculate, given my current social circumstances, minus any telltale effects of odor, how long it would take for my body to be discovered after dying.  At one point, I figured that I could be dead about a month before anyone would consider my lack of contact a cause for alarm.  Although, my competitive nature yearned to strive for an ever longer period of time, I felt I should do my best to prevent that eventuality from growing past a month.  I think that I unconsciously omitted the odor factor from the calculation.
Now it could be that I'm simply forgetting this, but it was only after thinking about yesterday's post and the story of my dead invisible neighbor that I connected the progressive experience of tracking a dead man's progress through smell and this mental exercise.  I can't believe that a correlation between the two events would have escaped me, but the sensation of making the connection yesterday was so fresh, so revelatory, it felt like a true discovery. 
Although now, I'm feeling like what I've discovered may be the beginning of the dismemberment of my memories as I get further on in my own years.

Monday, April 02, 2012

A moment of complete happiness.....

Last year saw the end of several significant artists, three of which have had a particular importance for me throughout my development.; Lucian Freud, Helen Frankenthaler and Cy Twombly.

Freud was the first of these three artists that I encountered, and as I've been reviewing old journals and sketchbooks, I found this quote by him which I jotted down in my sketchbook on this day, 20 years ago:

A moment of complete happiness never occurs in the creation of a work of art.  The promise of it is felt in the act of creation but disappears towards the completion of the work.  For it is then that the painter realizes that it is only a picture he is painting.  Until then he had almost dared to hope that the picture might spring to life.  Were it not for this, the perfect painting might be painted, on the completion of which the painter could retire.  It is this great insufficiency that drives him on.  Thus the process of creation becomes necessary to the painter perhaps more than it is in the picture.  The process in fact is habit forming. 

I have a distinct visual memory attached to this quote: the studio of my Painting 1 class with at CSU.  Perhaps I transferred the quote to the sketchbook in that room.  Nevertheless, I have a mind-image of my location and the location of my easel within that room that is specifically tied to these words of Freud. copying this quote into my sketchbook in that studio.   I remember the impact it had on me vividly.  It seemed to be a very true statement.  It's a nugget that had lodged itself deeply within my consciousness.  Even then, in my state of inexperience, this quote lent a glimpse of understanding to what it was that drove the impulse I felt to engage in this activity.  Inexperienced though I was, I felt something of the dissatisfaction and futility that are endemic to parts of that cycle of creative beginnings and completions.
When I finally started traveling and seeing Freud's work in person,  I remember being amazed at the level of "accuracy" he could attain with such thickly knotted knarls of paint.  I remember, in particular, a large portrait of, I believe, three men.  Perhaps a father and his sons.  The father sitting in a chair, his hands gripping the chair's armrests.  It was the knuckles of this man that drew me in completely.  Physical and real. Real in their presence and real in the obsession they inspired in the artist.  The dimensionality and physicality of a Freudian paint surface is not something I've carried in my own work (my cheap nature has long made me an inveterate miserly doler-outer of paint.)

Freud's death came two weeks after Twombly's.  I was so intently focused on Twombly (as I spent a week creating a Dead Hare Radio episode dedicated to him) that Freud's passing ... passed - with only a small amount of consideration, comparatively.  I think I had forgotten how much he was in my consciousness those many years back.  It's true that my sensibilities transferred from him to Frankenthaler to Twombly and I ceased thinking about him so much but finding the quote above once again has allowed me to do that.

I remember having a thought at the MoMA exhibit The Painter's Etchings held in 2007-2008 (I thought it was much more recent), I just don't remember what the thought was.  I wish I did remember.

One of: 12 Portraits of Lucien Freud Seated on Bed, London by Walker Evans, Walker Evans Archive, 1994 
© Walker Evans Archive, The Metropolitan Museum of Art


The photo above is a particularly great one of Freud - one of 12 - taken in the 1950's by Walker Evans.  The Met Museum's website has all 12 image for your viewing pleasure.   He looks like a handsome Lyle Lovett in these photos....not that Lyle isn't a handsome man himself.